


Think of me

by twoheartsx



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, M/M, Suicide, spoilers for princes gambit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 22:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8262433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoheartsx/pseuds/twoheartsx
Summary: Aimeric's last moments and his thoughts





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this. I am planning to do one for Nicaise's final moments as well. I guess I wanted to really dive into Aimeric's thoughts in his final moments and his feelings. I feel like he cared for Jord in some way and that he couldn't really figure things out. I would have loved for him to have the chance to grow and mature.

The damage had been dealt. Like a hand of cards in a game. This however was no game. This was life and death. This was real and it was felt in every essence. The words Laurent spoke, harsh and yet true, rung in Aimeric's head. No one stood watch over him. No one stood outside his cell. They all knew he wouldn't escape. He wouldn't break out and run. He had it all planned, everything would be fine once Laurent was gone. He would win the regency's favor. So, why was it that when Jord held him? Looked at him like he did. Why did Aimeric feel a tightness in his chest? Was it some form of love? Aimeric couldn't place it and it was too late now. It didn't matter because his words were just lies and signs of betrayal. If he held any love for Jord and if Jord, like Laurent had said, loved him then he would no longer hold Aimeric with that same affection. Aimeric was disposable, a sloppy old man's seconds. He was to be used and thrown away. Only one person finding him even the slightest bit lovable and now that love would be burned. 

Aimeric sat for an hour or so, his thoughts racing. He finally chooses. He finds paper and a pen. He knows he can use this to attack the guards and escape. He won't, his escape will be much different. In his mind this right here is the only way. The only choice that stands. Aimeric sits down at the table in his cell, thinking over what to say. His words, he knows, will be meaningless. His next action one that no one will mourn for. This will cause no issues but to one man and that man will soon forget. Because Jord is a good man, too good for Aimeric. 

After much thinking Aimeric finds he can only manage out one sentence. "I'm sorry, Jord." The words are written neatly in his perfect handwriting. The handwriting of an aristocrat. He sets the letter aside on the table and gets up, walking over to his bed. He takes the pen with him. He stands on the bed so that he may reach the window and begins slamming the pin into the window. After a few hard taps from the pen the window breaks. Aimeric drops the pen, reaching out to break off a piece of the broken window. Once he has a piece he climbs off of the bed, sitting back at the table. He takes a moment to assess the note. Decided if this is all he wishes to say. His parting words. He almost goes to write I love you. He doesn't because Jord would take it as a lie. He might even take this apology as a lie. Aimeric feels the need to say it nonetheless. Aimeric looks down at his arm, taking a deep breath. He tells himself this is the only way. Jord will never look at him the same, the regent no longer wants him, he is disposable. Aimeric digs the glass in deep, dragging it along his wrist. He watches as blood pours from the wound. He knows it won't be long now. He feels tears escape him and mentally slaps himself. He brought this on himself. He lied his head on the table as the world became fuzzy and off balance. 

"I'm sorry, Jord. I really did love you in my own way," Aimeric whispered. The world fading out. His final thoughts were on how now finally he could get peace. Jord would forget him. The world would go on like it should. Nothing would change.


End file.
